Want to Lose Weight? Stop Hating Yourself.

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Love yourself first.

(SAY IT LOUDER!!)

I’ve been on the diet rollercoaster my ENTIRE LIFE, for as long as I can remember. I grew up in a culture that told me over and over that FAT was the WORST thing I could be. Because of that, and because of my own insecurities, I’ve spent decades trying to figure out what will work for me.

Recently, I enrolled in a course about the Law of Attraction and my mind has been blown. But one of the things that keeps coming back to me is how important self talk is. Our subconscious takes everything personally, and it takes everything seriously. What we focus on is what we create. Well, having spent my entire life being worried about being fat (and therefore unlovable, unworthy and a burden), no wonder I can’t get out of the cycle.

In the past few years, I’ve found some things that have absolutely worked for me – and it’s not about just eating all protein and no carbs. It’s about giving my body what it needs, while eliminating things that are potentially harmful. I’ve tried SUPER restrictive, albeit healthy and effective meal plans, as well as pre-packaged meals. Both worked in the sense that I lost weight, but neither are sustainable for me personally.

And then I thought about the Law of Attraction again. In both cases from above, my self-talk was so incredibly unhealthy. The guilt was overwhelming if I came off the plan at all. Guys, we’re talking like, I’d have a piece of cheese and feel like I ruined the entire day and hate myself for at least 24 hours. FOR A PIECE OF CHEESE.

I had to figure out how to hate myself less (actually, not hate myself at ALL) during this process of wanting to live a healthier, more active life.

The Body Positivity movement has a TON of people out there talking about this topic of weight loss. Some are on the side of NEVER LOSE WEIGHT, BE FAT ALWAYS AND LOVE YOURSELF FOREVER NO MATTER WHAT. Got it. Others are like DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT, IN WHATEVER SIZE JEANS YOU WANT, JUST LOVE YOUR DAMN SELF.

That second one is the side that resonates the most with me. Body Positivity, to me, is loving yourself right where you’re at, and also accepting the raw, honest truth when you know that in your heart of hearts, you’d LIKE to weigh less – or weigh more or fit in smaller jeans or have bigger muscles. Not for anyone else’s approval, but for the betterment of your own life.

Back to hating myself less.

Here’s the thing. I know what it takes to lose weight, and it’s actually not very complicated for me. I just have to do it. I was feeling bogged down by guilt and negative self talk and stress about coming off any plan I was on, that I forgot about the fact that if I just could let go of that, and do what I know works, the weight would just come off. But before anything, I had to extend an ocean full of grace to myself in the process. In fact, my heart and mind needed to be FLOODED with love and grace for myself.

And guess what? I did that, and went back to what I know – eating healthy stuff with some of the unhealthy stuff peppered in nicely, started moving my body more, drinking more water and the weight finally started coming off in these last couple weeks. And the most important thing? I really loved myself so much more. Giving myself more freedom during the day, knowing that I was consuming the right stuff most of the time and being active, was exactly what I needed.

THERE IS NO REASON TO HATE YOURSELF WHILE TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELF BETTER. It won’t work. It’s what makes people crazy.

This whole thing is such a journey. Ultimately, I want to feel like the absolute best version of myself and I want to live to 100 to see lots and lots of great-grandbabies and flying cars. If the weight loss part takes longer than I want, that’s okay. It’s about finding something that WORKS, but that, more importantly, is sustainable and allows you to love yourself as much as you love those around you.

To ALL the self love,

c