Dear Mama, You are Enough
It’s interesting that there’s a whole month dedicated to being aware of Cesarean births – mostly because it’s something I’m aware of, literally every day of my life. Most days, the awareness is still quite heavy actually.
I don’t say this very often, but honestly, I always had a feeling that my birth story would include a C-section. And I was absolutely right. Was it my plan? No. Have I had to do some work around the feeling of inadequacy because of it? Yes.
And that’s what this is about. That feeling of not being enough. The feeling that we, as moms, women, daughters, sisters, friends, employees, ALWAYS have. That it’s just not enough.
My birth story is just that – mine. This bullshit that’s out there about one birth being more significant or real than another is just that – bullshit. There are mamas out there with stories of loss, fear, trauma, triumph and celebration, but guess what? They all include bringing a human into the world. And that is flipping amazing, no matter what the exit plan for the baby ended up being.
I hear people, literally all the time, brag about having natural, vaginal births. Great for you. I celebrate it, I really do – just like I celebrate the C-sections, vaginal births with epidurals, VBACS and every other birth out there. But it makes me cringe because, again, WE ARE ALL MAMA WARRIORS. When I hear it, I often have a moment where I need to remind myself that JUST because I asked for an epidural, I’m not any less of a warrior. Raising humans? That's what makes me a warrior.
This comparison game that we play – I think that’s what perpetuates this feeling of never being good enough. It’s not just in birth either. It’s in life – our closets, our instagrams, our kids’ parties, all the things. We’re constantly comparing.
AND WE DON’T HAVE TO DO THAT.
Someday, I’ll tell my birth story. It’s a doozy. But I bring it up now because yes it DID end in a Cesarean. After five days of induction, 2 epidurals, a water that was broken 40 hours and a baby that had flipped sunny-side up, it was the right decision that meant we were going to get to meet our son.
I never regretted that decision. The bottom line is that BIRTH (in whatever form it would have been) was only the beginning. The choice to love and care for and commit to that baby is actually what makes me the mama. And I do have to say that I absolutely love my scar of life.
So let’s commit to supporting each other and lifting each other up. We need it. None of us are better than the other, simply because of how our baby came into this world. We are MOMS. I celebrate you today, whether you’re a Mama already, an expecting mama or a hopeful mama. You’re fighting the good fight and we are raising the next generation and that’s ALL that matters!